This pic made me smile so I saved it not knowing why or when I’d use it.
That is what happens with a lot of the pics I make or reuse here. 
Sitting here listening to the iTunes lecture on Calculus Methods 
determined to pass this graduation required course is part of rewriting my story. 
Failure isn’t something most people are proud to admit. 
But the truth is this is my SECOND time taking this class and it intimidated me. 
Couldn’t tell you why or when the fear of math happened but it did. 
The crazy part is I enjoy math and have done so all my life… until I had that teacher. 
You know … THAT teacher. Who makes the subject you like DISGUSTING.
Then I let my creative take over and internalized the subliminal messages about girls and math. 
I’m not blaming the people putting out the messages… just sharing what happened. 
But I REFUSE to be denied a degree because of ONE screwball teacher in HIGH SCHOOL. 
So I listen to the video, use the math lab online help and pray through every problem, quiz, and test. 
Will I seek out math on my own after I graduate … 
probably not but I won’t have to because I’m not afraid of it anymore. 
The principle for not allowing the past to become my future is not new… it is effective.
Achieving my educational goals is part of the journey of changing my
mind, heart, self, and way of life one decision at a time. 
With a child watching my every move, 
listening to my every word and silence 
I’ve found even more reason to make every next decision 
the best decision. 
I’m not ashamed to say I couldn’t have done this
without being in a relationship with God. 
There have been circumstances in life that I allowed
to muffle, silence, stifle and block my dreams and goals. 
I underestimated how committed God is to seeing to me
receive the desires of my heart (because I delight myself in Him.)
 Since 2012 I have my eyes fixed on the goals I set for my life
AND have discovered how to enjoy the journey. 
Putting in the effort to make both my and my daughter’s
 dreams come true takes hard work and sacrifice. 
Which is lightwork compared to living afraid to try.
Every June I reflect on the things I’ve learned since my last birthday.
This year’s lessons were great recaps. 
Forgive. For them. For me. Forgive. 
Never give up on people especially myself. 
Nothing is impossible with love aka God. 
Cherish the important people in my life they won’t live forever.

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