I’m still fighting the urge to close my heart and fold into myself
Being aware, watching and praying through the demise of my marriage
Afforded me the “luxury” of working through my pain instead of ignoring it.
Not being able to ignore the pain was not a new experience for me. 
Choosing to start over on my own required me to trust God in new ways
The naiveté of inexperience isn’t available to me. 
Choosing to continue to rely on God requires a new dimension of trust. 
It means I’m making a conscious choice to trust God with everything, again.
This time I know that I’m taking a risk. 
Things may not work out the way I want…even though
God loves me
God wants the best for me
God owns everything
God is who the bible says He is…
But the one thing I realize each day as I face
New challenges
New trials
New triumphs
New experiences
New needs
Old problems
Old weaknesses
Old failures 
Old frustrations
I’m better off with God than without Him. 
Nothing I experience catches Him by surprise.
My heart, soul, mind, and past is a living testament to 
Romans 8: 28
All things are working for my good, because I love the Lord.
Part of being in a loving relationship is trust. 
I choose to trust God.
I’ve lived the alternative after heartbreak before and I know
the alternative is no option, for me. 
In order for my relationship with God to be everything the Bible says
I must continue to be vulnerable with God.
Authentic intimacy requires vulnerability
Vulnerability requires risk.
I trusted God, my risk didn’t pan out the way I wanted
But it still paid off. 
Still finding out.
But God’s word says it will work for my good.
I choose to continue to trust Him.

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