Shawneda

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Monday Meditation: Finding Purpose in Pain


 Being a wife and mother topped my priority list for the last nine years. 
The vision for my life didn't include divorce. 
Yet, here I am. 

In the middle of my thirties
In the midst of returning to school to become a Registered Dietitian
In the midst of learning how to advocate for my daughter
I'm now in the midst of a divorce. 

There have been tears, lamenting, I've questioned things I never thought I'd question
Considered a second attempt at learning how to drink
(Thank you Holy Ghost for stopping me)
The only time I only found relief, when I call on God. 


As things have unfolded over the last twenty four months
I knew things were changing but I kept the faith. 
Hoped against hope, and what I knew and could see.
No details need to be divulged but the end result is, divorce.
I prayed, fasted and have peace God's plan is bigger than my understanding.
The situation doesn't feel good, the process is SUPER painful 
Some days I want to WILD OUT  


Instead I fight the urges that will lead me down a road to bitterness and resentment. 
God has a purpose for my pain.
I don't know it yet, but I trust Him.
With everything happening and my inability to understand it all
I have to trust Him to show me the Purpose in the Pain.


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