When God reminded me of my gift for writing, I was terrified. Not because I didn't think I could write or because I was scared I would fail. My greatest concern was becoming too focused on the numbers and competing for book sales, publicity and book club spots. When I realized the books I write were going to tie in with the ministry God gave me I was ecstatic, after months of dedicating time to hearing from and talking to God I acquiesced. I dived in head first and resolved not to become obsessed or be shook because of the numbers (or lack there of).
The irony of my lack of concern for numbers and my membership to super megachurch was not lost on me. I was happy at the smaller church I'd attended before marrying my husband and craved to be a member at a smaller congregation once I encountered the attitudes of some in megachurch ministries, my own and others. Now I have resolved to love God, people and do what He created me to do no matter where I am.
The events of my personal life over the last twenty four months including leaving the megachurch for a smaller church then finding out the smaller churches main objective was to be a megachurch reinforced my resolve to focus on God as the author and finisher of my faith, worth and value of my life. I don't seek "success" but I do work as unto the Lord desiring to be effective. I have read and reviewed an amazing book that helped me see the beauty and awesome power of this even more
I don't think pursuing success is a bad or evil thing, I just know it isn't for me. I appreciate God's amazing ability to give each person the desires of their heart when they delight themselves in him. When I delight myself in God my hearts' desire is to minister to those He has prepared and assigned to me. My heart's desire is to be authentic and effective in life and in ministry. For others that may not be God's will, but it is more than enough for me.
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